the key to resiliency

if words are all we have
why am i still hiding behind them?
i wish i had some words
of wisdom for you
and just because were talking about real life
doesnt mean were
telling the truth
im angry at you
doesnt even come close
to what i mean
what i mean is
youre ruining my life
im pulling tales from cyberspace
to accurately
describe how i feel
a corner casualty
doesnt experience
pain, like knives
like pills
pain killers
isnt that funny?
that girl in the red truck
will never know that
you smiled at her
unless you
tell her
i dont want to make long distance calls
for you anymore
i cant bridge the gap
with a drive over bridges
youre so locked in
find you in blankets and stuffed animals
count slowly, one, two,
three
while holding your breath under tunnels
words arent all we have
lets not limit ourselves
i have you and you have me
but not in the ways we want
not the ways we need
i promise ill start telling the truth
i promise when i burn
this to the ground
no phoenix rising
there will be outlines
heiroglypics
to make you feel something
make you say it out loud
like
i hate hospital beds
i hate how skinny your wrists look
under my old long sleeve shirts
i hate you only call me when you
need something
and how about im tired
sleep isnt even sleep anymore
its just trains and hair dressers and nightmares
we learn from the best
you gave this to me
take it back