speechless

saying any of this out loud
to anyone
would be too illicit
the biggest secret
the most profound
lie
blasphemous, really

saying it out loud to anyone
would make it true
im not ready
for this
truth
i have been hiding from it for awhile
dont you think?

ever my muse
my inspiration
a subject matter i am familiar with
but hadnt visited recently
because its so much easier to write about sad
when youre happy
when you have distance, that sadness
isnt yours

but it will never be easy
to write about you
in past tense, like
when you were mine