if only

excuse me, lunatic
i think ive made a
mistake
if i only i had
got on that return flight back
to SF
would we be sitting sweetly
with bells on our ankles
little heart bubbles
around our heads
no,
its doubtful my choices would
have affected yours

you really thought you were
doing the right
thing, like theres
rules for this
and you deserved a shoulder
slap
this isn't a hit and
run, oakland hills, its a
hit and love
complications, conversation
youre so good at hiding, planning
and backtracking

tell me about your broken
heart, ill
salivate over someone elses
mess
admit it
no one knows what's about to happen
except that fear is passing
and im getting out
of bed now
look out

you make me bend my
rules, question my
teachers textbook
saw you looking at my school
uniform
lets
get
explicit
black and white pawns
i joke, unconvincingly, he will just be
another move i make

but i can see our future, if not
just the first
kiss, how sincere i will be
(because ill mean it)
until i cant be anymore, because i
cant care anymore
and a perfect person then
played
wanders the streets again, tired, tired
love
it is a choice, right?